this thing called life.

the ins & outs of my little world.

One chapter.

—

Last night I poured a page of my past out to you. I wrote it down, word for word, tear by tear, scar by scar. It was just one page, but it was the opening chapter, a prologue of sorts, one of the most important parts to read before engaging in the body. If not for that page, the rest of this story is a lot harder to make sense of, and I knew, eventually, you would want to read the whole book.
 
You quietly listened, hanging on to each word, interjecting only with a touch or a sigh. It was your way of turning the pages, not forcefully or rushed, but with a slow motion, drawing out the truth and letting each sentence soak into your mind.

When I finished the chapter we stopped and we breathed. We breathed hard and heavy and our words were so much richer through the knowledge we now shared. Our hug had never been tighter, our words had never meant more. You read me, you listened to me, and I allowed you to.

You cried with me, you held me close, then you stroked my skin to sleep.

Artist’s statement:

“The world seems to me increasingly incomprehensible, and there are times when I feel there isn’t anything that I know for certain. For me, making photographs (or painting, or whatever) is necessary to translate the unintelligible reality of being into a more coherent form. Or at least to illustrate my best guesses. There is vastly more nothing in the universe than something, and I try to create images that recognize the grace by which anything at all exists.”

—Ryan Hancock

Two words.

A poignant reminder from an unlikely source. Someone I would never take relationship or life advice from, provided a flippant comment that has resonated with me since, and has alerted me to the over-analytical state of frenzy that people (me) put ourselves through when it comes to deciding a whether a person deserves a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ in regards to the fatal choice of embarking into a relationship.

All it takes is two words to unravel, rewind, and undo the mess of interwoven lifestyle decisions.

“It’s over.”

Yes, there is a lot more pain, explaining, and healing needed that stems as a consequence of those words, but those two words are the catalyst, and they are all that need be uttered to snap the ties which you so carefully knotted.

So what is that we’re so scared of? Feelings. Just feelings. Protecting our own and the ones of whom we love or care about. Perhaps that is the single most important thing, but feelings can’t hurt you. It’s up to you how strong or weak they are, and how long they stay.

Don’t be scared. Jump in head-first. Soak up the loveliness and be prepared to say (or hear) two words if it all goes askew.

day by day.

You’re stitching up my scars, mending my fragility and piecing together my puzzle slowly. Maybe I’m letting you figure me out, maybe I’m composing the most beautiful story ever written. It’s so much harder to let you in than it’s ever been to shut someone out. The secrets are etched in my bones and you are slowly digging beneath the flesh. When they are uncovered, the choice will be yours to to stay or go; but once you have buried under my skin you will remain there, and I will be exposed.

I feel out of my depth with you. You are unravelling my logic and disconnecting the ties between my brain and my heart. You’ve been beckoning my body with your words and looks, and now my heart is starting to follow. I don’t know where my mind travels to when I am with you, but I know that it is not thinking, registering, and blocking the way it has been so strictly trained to do. It quietens around you, and the rushing of white noise that normally fills my brain and deafens me with reasons not to feel has been replaced by an overwhelming heat that starts in my chest, catches in my throat, and warms my entire body to the point of non existence. When I am with you, I am nowhere. I exist only in the reflection of your eyes, the words I hear myself say to you, and the feeling of your skin under my fingertips.
 
 
If this is the beginning, I don’t know if I’m ready.

The magnificence and terrifying reality that is time.

(via pleonasmus)

*I hate the way I allow myself to feel when you ignore me.#toughenuplady.

*I hate the way I allow myself to feel when you ignore me.

#toughenuplady.

(Source: dreammbigx3)

Thank you for giving me six months, lovely creature. It went nowhere, I hated it, and I loved it. I will miss you, but I cannot spend another six months wasting time on you. Not without a promise.

Thank you for giving me six months, lovely creature. It went nowhere, I hated it, and I loved it. I will miss you, but I cannot spend another six months wasting time on you. Not without a promise.

(via justabadass)